In what can only be described as a chaotic mix of drama, mystery, and accidental promo, rapper Saint Tha Narko has recently been hospitalized under serious — and very hush-hush — circumstances. We’re not going to get into the gritty details (because frankly, they’re graphic, possibly traumatizing, and doesn’t tie into the jovial aesthetic of our “maybe straight” rapper ). What we can say, though, is that despite the emergency, Tha Narko remains committed to two things: yelling at reporters, and dropping bars that may or may not reveal a little too much.
While most artists use their hospital stays to rest and recover, Saint Tha Narko appears to be channeling his energy into violently kicking journalists out of rooms. When our very professional, totally unproblematic reporters showed up for a routine check-in at the hospital, they were met with an explosion of high-pitched screaming and accusations that they were “just trying to bait [him] into saying something fruity.”
…To be fair, they kind of were.
Did The Beat D13? Or Did The Beat Just Flirt With Him?
Before realizing we were press, Saint Tha Narko briefly let his guard down and gave us a tidbit that might explain his volatile mood: his new album, titled “Did The Beat D13?”, is dropping August 11th. Now, on paper, that’s a strong name — mysterious, edgy, maybe even a nod to some underground lore.
But let’s not pretend we don’t hear Digbar’s influence echoing through the hallway.
Digbar, known for his flamboyant, proudly homoerotic lyricism, carved out a niche in the rap game by being as gay as humanly possible — and thriving. And now here comes Saint Tha Narko, releasing tracks with titles that sound like either a hidden diss track or a confused Grindr DM. Coincidence?
We’re not saying there’s a secret collab in the works. We’re just saying… there’s chemistry.
Flamboyancy v.s. Firearms
Saint Tha Narko has long been the subject of public speculation regarding his sexuality. And to be clear, we support artists of all orientations. But when a man insists, repeatedly, that he’s straight while wearing a mesh crop top and doing choreography suspiciously similar to Beyoncé’s Single Ladies, the public is bound to have questions.
He did once rap, “I’m in the stu with my bro / No homo but he know how I go,” which is not helping his case — unless his case is a budding romance with his engineer.
Still, we reached out for clarification, which led to our reporters being chased down a hospital hallway while Saint Tha Narko screamed, “YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK! YOU WANNA SEE ME IN GLITTER, DON’T YOU?” (Again: yes.)
We asked about the new album, but the moment the phrase “press coverage” was uttered, he violently threw a bedside apple juice like it was a Molotov cocktail. Professionals to the end, our reporters only fled after he threatened to freestyle about their mothers.
Final Thoughts (Because We’re No Longer Allowed Near Him)
While we won’t be granted any more official statements (or access to his room, per the restraining order), we will be streaming the single on August 11th. Whether Did The Beat D13? is a coded love letter to Digbar, a misunderstood concept song, or just another chaotic Saint Tha Narko moment — we’re here for it.
Hospitalized, hostile, and possibly heterosexual— Saint Tha Narko proves once again that even from a hospital bed, he stays messily iconic.
